Remember how you felt when walking into a new class or a new job for the first time? Nervous, unsure what to expect and definitely that feeling of awkwardness, well that's how we felt when we walked into the adoption agency we chose. Congrats Bethany Christian, you got the job! We have been living in the wild world of infertility and syringe city, so this is unfamiliar ground for sure. This was the first "preliminary" meeting, AKA the intake interview. This is where the agency social worker will have you sign a billion forms, you hand over a hefty check from your already depleted bank account and then go over the 2 foot thick stack of additional paperwork you will have to fill out later.
1. Intake interview
2. Sign life away on a big ass stack of forms
3. Take some classes (no problem! I am eager to learn)
4. Home study #1
5. Home study #2
6. Work on profile book
7. Pimp yourself out to gather funds for step #8
8. Home study #3, write a MASSIVE check
9. Congrats! You are now on the waiting list for potential expectant moms to choose you!
So, where were we? Oh yeah, DAMN ... step one. During this interview my inner Bruce Banner came out and I got a little salty. Here's what happened, my hand was already forming carpal tunnel syndrome after signing the first stack of forms when the very sweet agency worker stated we will have to have the following items in place before the 3rd home study. Oh, I almost forgot, some of you are thinking "What the hey is a 'Home Study'?" It is a series of meetings where the social worker interviews you, your spouse and your humble abode to make sure you are fit to be parents. We have to have a carbon monoxide detector/smoke alarm. No problem. We also have to have a fire extinguisher. Well that makes sense, we already have one so one less thing to buy. The third request simply floored me. They will also be checking to make sure all of our cleaning supplies and medications are under lock and key. Now, child locks these days are almost damn near impossible for even you to open. It is on the same challenge level as a Rubix Cube, but seriously lock and effing key? Seeing as we are in the infant domestic program, I am pretty sure not many infants can scale a bathroom counter, shimmy up our sink area and then rummage in our medicine cabinet. If that is what it takes for us to have a child, then fine. I will put a lock on every cabinet and drawer in the house if need be. I just need to make sure not to lose the keys!
We made it through though. We are one step closer to getting on the wait list and one step closer to a family. Look out Lowes, we are on our way for all of the adoption-required accessories for our house!